Don't forget memory

     People have good memories. Since leaving college, I've noticed patterns among people who keep up with me via Facebook, and those who now fail even to wish me happy birthday. Relationships I strained, by failing to be punctual and by letting my manners slip, are pretty much over now. Those I nurtured by occasional correspondence, invitations and courtesy, have their roots still firmly intact. Ironically, some people with whom I had superficial contact during college (e.g., the friend of a friend), now send occasional messages and invitations due to a few friendly conversations we had during college.

     Here's my advice: act as if others will forever remember what you do and that it will influence every future interaction with them. Even if your bad behavior improves, people will remember with a vengeance if you show any signs of backsliding. For example, if you repeatedly whisper behind others' backs, you gain a reputation for gossip. They will refuse to open up to you, work with you or introduce you to others. The latter, losing networking opportunities, is perhaps the most devastating.


     On the other hand, if you are consistently positive, then your future interactions will blossom into friendships and opportunities. Also, even if the relationships lies dormant for five years, you might reconnect with your old study partner because Facebook News Feed says she is the hiring manager for a potential employer.